Feelin’ Some Love? Tell the Person, Not Their Locker

Crushes. At some point in life, everyone has a crush on someone. Sometimes people do cute things for their crushes, like tell them how they feel, or even give them a bracelet. And that’s okay.

But what isn’t cute is leaving creepy love notes for a crush, especially when they are anonymous.

Last month, around Valentine’s Day, some freshmen girls received anonymous love notes and small gifts in their lockers. One girl received a ring, another received pearl earrings and a third girl received an unwanted Valentine’s Day bundle.

The secret admirers probably meant no harm, but these love notes made the recipients feel uncomfortable and unsafe, especially since their personal space, like their lockers, was invaded.

The incidents were so upsetting that Vice Principal Helen Kim installed a camera in her office window facing the freshmen lockers, with the intent of catching the secret admirers or keeping them from doing it again.

Illustration by Jocelyn Urbina

The girls who received anonymous gifts felt uncomfortable because the notes contained specific and creepy information about them. They felt like someone was watching them and taking note of their activities.

So, why would someone who is crushing do something so upsetting? One reason may be because the secret admirers are scared of rejection. They fear that their crush might not reciprocate their feelings. But this fear does not justify their actions, and it certainly doesn’t serve their goal. Telling a person you like them in person might risk rejection, but at least the other person would feel more comfortable. And telling the other person face-to-face is a nice gesture that could leave a good impression.

The key is to think about how your behavior feels to another person. Put yourself in your crush’s shoes. If you think about leaving an anonymous note or gift in someone else’s locker, ask yourself: Would I be creeped out if someone did this to me?